I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
