i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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