Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
