did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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