You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
