Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
