There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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