You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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