He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
