i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
