she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
