She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
