Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
