Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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