should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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