And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
