I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
