what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
