Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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