apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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