Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
