My first STD was from a foam party
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
