I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
