we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
