He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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