My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
