So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
