I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
