check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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