I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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