last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
