My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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