How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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