I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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