I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
