So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
