my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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