sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
