the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
