I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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