Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
