Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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