My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
