he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i out mim tonsoeep
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