I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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