eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
