I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
