At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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