I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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