Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
